What to expect from psychotherapy & counselling?
You may have heard about people going to therapy or seen it in action in movies and TV shows, but what does that really mean, and what is therapy?
Psychotherapy and counselling are ways to work on your mental health with a trained professional. Through regular conversations, you can discuss your feelings and thoughts, and learn new ways to handle life's challenges. This process helps you understand yourself better and make positive changes.
The Importance of the Relationship
One of the most important aspects of therapy is the relationship between you and your therapist. Research shows that this relationship is more important than the type of therapy used (Antoniou & Blom, 2006). Think of it like having a good friend—you feel comfortable sharing your thoughts and feelings with them because you trust them. The development of this therapeutic relationship and trust helps you open up and get the most out of your sessions.
How Does Therapy Work?
Val Wosket (2016) discusses how therapists use themselves as tools in therapy. This means that the therapist tries to understand your needs and adapts their support by actively listening to you, helping you dissect your thoughts and feelings, and discovering patterns and behaviours you might not be aware of. They won’t judge or tell you what to do, but you will start to notice things about yourself during sessions. Awareness is the first step for change.
What Sets Therapists Apart from a Good Friend?
Boundaries are what set therapists apart from good friends. Sometimes, friends might overstep boundaries in their desire to help, inadvertently perpetuating some of your unhelpful patterns. Instead, therapists work with you to understand how you feel and help you figure out what you might want to change or improve.
What Happens in the First Session?
When you meet with a therapist, the first session is a bit like getting to know each other. You can tell the therapist about yourself and what’s been bothering you. The therapist will ask questions to understand your situation and what brought you to therapy, but you don’t have to share everything right away if you’re not ready. Most therapists will respect your pace, depending on their style of working.
It’s also your chance to see if you feel comfortable with the therapist. If you don’t feel like they’re the right person for you, that’s okay! You can either discuss and explore that feeling with your therapist or look for another one.
Growing Together
As you continue attending therapy, your relationship with yourself and with the therapist will grow. You and your therapist may gain a better understanding of your thoughts, feelings, and experiences. Sometimes, things might get tough and emotionally challenging, but progress often isn’t linear. Along the way, you will gain resilience and learn coping skills and strategies that could help you find new ways to handle difficult emotions or situations. Thus, the therapeutic relationship can withstand ruptures and repairs.
Therapists understand that relationships change over time. Just like friends might become closer over the years, the therapist-client relationship also evolves (Garbarino et al., 1995). That’s why therapists are always checking in to ensure they are supporting you in the best way.
Is Therapy for Me?
Therapy can be helpful for many different reasons—maybe you're feeling sad, worried, or confused about something. It’s also a space where you can talk about things you might not feel comfortable sharing with others.
If you’re considering starting therapy, remember there’s no pressure to continue after the first session. It’s your choice. Finding the right therapist who makes you feel comfortable is key.
Conclusion
Psychotherapy and counselling can be wonderful ways to work through your feelings. The most important factor is feeling comfortable with your therapist, as the relationship you build with them is what helps you the most. If you feel like therapy might help, trust your instincts and give it a try—you never know how much it could benefit you!
References
Antoniou, A. S. and Blom, T. G. (2006) 'The five therapeutic relationships', Clinical Case Studies, 5(5), pp. 437–451. DOI: https://doi.org/10.1177/1534650106292668.
Garbarino, J., Gaa, J. P., Swank, P., McPherson, R. and Gratch, L. V. (1995) 'The relation of individuation and psychosocial development', Journal of Family Psychology, 9(3), pp. 311–318. DOI: https://doi.org/10.1037/0893-3200.9.3.311.
Wosket, V. (2016) The therapeutic use of self: Counselling practice, research and supervision. Routledge.